Standing up

Arjun said, “Krishna, I will not be a part of this battle.” 

Krishna had the power to destroy the opposite army in blink of an eye. He explained Arjun, “It is not about politics, revenge or power, or your cousins, your father like uncles or the innocent army-men who are following orders, their wives and children, or the animals or about yourself and your brothers. It is about doing right in a manner that is righteous (Dharma).” 

It wasn’t Krishna’s battle, it was Arjun’s. He had to fight on his own. Krishna was his charioteer, his guide and support. Krishna was Arjun’s friend. 

Love Relation

Husband. He is the opposite sex. Why do we forget that? Why do husbands remember but avoid that? We are not clones. Individuals act differently.
Husband is our life partner. We fall in love, get married and then grow up together but apart. Why does it happen so?

I’ve seen that in this modern era, people are suffering more. Depression and divorces are becoming so common. What is compatibility?
Loving someone beyond liking him is love. Asking a person to behave in a manner you like, is not.

My husband and I are one bad combination. Ours was an arranged marriage, we fell in love during courtship period. Many a times we realized it will be a difficult journey but we exchanged our vows on the decided date according to our ‘kundlis‘.

Living separately in different cities and talking on phone is one thing. When we met, I was allowed to be late and was appreciated. He was allowed to take the important calls and dress insanely.

But now after sharing one bedroom, life became complicated. Both of our space vanished in thin air. Due to the hectic events during marriage, I became so tired and cheerless and sleepless that I almost hacked into his life. And he did was- focusing on my flaws. Both of us didn’t know what we were doing.

I knew we had to stick together. We had to give ourselves a chance. We knew we loved each other because no matter how much we hated the incompatibly, we couldn’t think apart (I love him!)

But because men are stupid, its women’s job to tell him how things work. I told him we had to start talking. Our conversations had become small and that had to improve. He taught me to keep silent when irritated. Tough for both of us! We started to know each other from beginning.

For twenty seven years he had been growing at a distant city in a different environment, with unlike people and a catchy-contrast day routine. So was I. We suddenly expected to be perfect for each others in three months. We may/may not be in a year or a decade or our entire lifetime.

Now we are learning. To appreciate and love the life together. To respect the distance because it helps us to forgive and miss each other. We are teaching and changing our ways of life. And discovering the days and years we’ve missed.
We are finding love, everyday.

Feelings

She still sat there waiting for him. But he had already left her. He had made his mind. He did not want her anymore. He had fallen in love with someone who wasn’t her. It couldn’t be his mistake.. Only that she didn’t know where her life will be heading.. was her love not true?

Be Brief

Task: You’re walking on a path and you stumble upon a letter. You pick it, read it and you’re left emotionally touched.
Twist: Be as brief as you can.

I picked that half-burned page, “Mum, I hope you understand. I cannot kill it. Dad, I wish I had made you proud, I’m sorry. I wish Jeff married me, but he..”

She left everything for that one life that even the biological father didn’t want? Picture-less thoughts swarmed.

Lost and Found: A piece of me

If somebody asked me to choose between my heart and my mind, I will definitely go for my brains. I mean what is this silly heart? It’s such a big liar, which at first consoles, giving hopes for lifetime, and then shattering the dreams for eternity.
Literally, heart does not even exist. It is our cardiovascular muscles in the rib cages, which does not think or speak or talk to us! Just aches at the wrong time.

I remember how much I was in love. For such a long time. Love has the greatness to sometimes make us happy and sometimes sad about the same silly thought. My insecurity once asked him, “Will you have a girlfriend?”

I really wished he had lied after he told me the truth. But the present makes me happy that he said what he did. That one thought of his truth had made me happy because he did not make a promise to break. Did not keep me waiting. And sad, because his honesty at such a time, when a person would generally lie so that the girl in front of you should not break down in tears, makes me miss him.

People ask me, what took me so long to let go! I did not want to let go. And it’s mostly because people don’t want to, because they start feeling that the pain is something they have of the person. It becomes part of them. Without expecting the person to love us back.

So how does one ‘move on’? It’s different with everybody. At those time when everything was fresh, and somebody would even mention the two words ‘move on’, I started the non ending philosophical talks. And then end up crying, being totally confused about my feelings.

But with life, I gave up listening slow music. Started believing that I was also special, had two-three great friends who were actually there for me, started studying, clearing exams, and feeling important. I was still very much into the person but this time I had accepted that I was in love. So I enjoyed my smiles and laughters.

Last year standing in the corridor between our doors, while having a normal conversation with a friend-neighbor, I remember realising I wasn’t the same person I used to be. At that simple moment, I knew love had left me. Trust me, it wasn’t the best feeling. I was empty, normal, I wasn’t the person I believed I was for past six years, and it was sad. I did not love him or hate him or feel anything for him. I couldn’t even feel a thing looking at his picture or hearing his name. Yes, I did try these things!

So, I took a deep breath, wore a gentle smile, looked around, and found so many attractive guys, potential boyfriends and magical crushes. But wait, do I need them? I’m here finding bigger meaning to life.

Now I’m back to being an ordinary girl, who has dreams for herself.