Missing World


Three little wonders of joy

Here are the pictures of an orphanage that I visited today.

There were 17 kids including 4 infants (three girls and a boy.) The baby boy is in hospital because of being left outside in the sun by his parents.  Baby girls are very cute and small, they look like 5 to 10days old. One of them woke up from her sleep, her cry was so little- one could barely hear.

There were 5 small kids. They were not one year old yet. All were sleeping except the two angels. With them slept one of their caretakers. Out of the two not-sleepy-heads, one was crying so much. She was hungry. The caretaker picked her by her hand, placed her outside the kitchen and handed her a little glass, filled it with milk. The girl kept crying. I feel sorry to write, the woman gave her a beating and two, till she heard me shouting, “don’t do that.” The child then drank her milk. Hardly nine months girl she was. She held her glass and drank by herself. She was not bottle fed or breast fed. All these little kids were sleeping on the floor.

There were little elder ones too. Eight probably. How many of them were actually orphan and how many were the kids of the caretakers, no one could tell.

Two kids couldn’t walk. Two were having cold, so couldn’t eat the ice cream we got them. One of the girls was smart. She called her care taker ‘Aunty’. She was not too mannered but asked me to bring her chips next time. I told her that I saw packet of chips and biscuits  somebody has left for them, but she insisted for me to get them myself. I wondered she was taught to talk in such way.

At the entrance of this compact house were kept toys and little rides like garbage.  My friend said that the orphanage is in the posh colony of the city, so all the money-headed parents leave their kids old stuff like garbage here. No one cares, not even the little ones of that suffocating house.

I missed those three little girls all the way home.


Love Relation

Husband. He is the opposite sex. Why do we forget that? Why do husbands remember but avoid that? We are not clones. Individuals act differently.
Husband is our life partner. We fall in love, get married and then grow up together but apart. Why does it happen so?

I’ve seen that in this modern era, people are suffering more. Depression and divorces are becoming so common. What is compatibility?
Loving someone beyond liking him is love. Asking a person to behave in a manner you like, is not.

My husband and I are one bad combination. Ours was an arranged marriage, we fell in love during courtship period. Many a times we realized it will be a difficult journey but we exchanged our vows on the decided date according to our ‘kundlis‘.

Living separately in different cities and talking on phone is one thing. When we met, I was allowed to be late and was appreciated. He was allowed to take the important calls and dress insanely.

But now after sharing one bedroom, life became complicated. Both of our space vanished in thin air. Due to the hectic events during marriage, I became so tired and cheerless and sleepless that I almost hacked into his life. And he did was- focusing on my flaws. Both of us didn’t know what we were doing.

I knew we had to stick together. We had to give ourselves a chance. We knew we loved each other because no matter how much we hated the incompatibly, we couldn’t think apart (I love him!)

But because men are stupid, its women’s job to tell him how things work. I told him we had to start talking. Our conversations had become small and that had to improve. He taught me to keep silent when irritated. Tough for both of us! We started to know each other from beginning.

For twenty seven years he had been growing at a distant city in a different environment, with unlike people and a catchy-contrast day routine. So was I. We suddenly expected to be perfect for each others in three months. We may/may not be in a year or a decade or our entire lifetime.

Now we are learning. To appreciate and love the life together. To respect the distance because it helps us to forgive and miss each other. We are teaching and changing our ways of life. And discovering the days and years we’ve missed.
We are finding love, everyday.

Be Brief

Task: You’re walking on a path and you stumble upon a letter. You pick it, read it and you’re left emotionally touched.
Twist: Be as brief as you can.

I picked that half-burned page, “Mum, I hope you understand. I cannot kill it. Dad, I wish I had made you proud, I’m sorry. I wish Jeff married me, but he..”

She left everything for that one life that even the biological father didn’t want? Picture-less thoughts swarmed.

Break Free

Acceptance is the first step to ‘let go’. It isn’t necessary that you’ll find you best friend in the person you called so in childhood. Same as you may not be in love with the person you claim to be as a kid.

As we grow up, we change with our choices, priorities and difficulties and so does everyone.

There’s a point in everyones life where we feel left completely alone, we struggle for everything. But by choice we understand that may be we weren’t supposed to be with people who we assumed our ‘forever’.
The togetherness of this journey ends.

It rips our heart, we feel dead but something in us aches badly to remind us that unfortunately or fortunately, we’re alive.

But then, instead of looking back at the person who left your hand or whose hand you left, when you look ahead of who’s already grabbed you to make sure you don’t shatter away, its surprisingly heartwarming.

Coming at the right time, supporting you by all the ups and downs, weeping or smiling same as you do on the silly texts and talks and things that you connect with that’s not meaningless, at-least not to you.

That person hides your secrets in a safe, and loving you from the bottom of that heart so deep that even you wouldn’t know. Accept that new friendship and love and let go all fear.

Because you deserve the best. Because life is worth it!

Lost and Found: A piece of me

If somebody asked me to choose between my heart and my mind, I will definitely go for my brains. I mean what is this silly heart? It’s such a big liar, which at first consoles, giving hopes for lifetime, and then shattering the dreams for eternity.
Literally, heart does not even exist. It is our cardiovascular muscles in the rib cages, which does not think or speak or talk to us! Just aches at the wrong time.

I remember how much I was in love. For such a long time. Love has the greatness to sometimes make us happy and sometimes sad about the same silly thought. My insecurity once asked him, “Will you have a girlfriend?”

I really wished he had lied after he told me the truth. But the present makes me happy that he said what he did. That one thought of his truth had made me happy because he did not make a promise to break. Did not keep me waiting. And sad, because his honesty at such a time, when a person would generally lie so that the girl in front of you should not break down in tears, makes me miss him.

People ask me, what took me so long to let go! I did not want to let go. And it’s mostly because people don’t want to, because they start feeling that the pain is something they have of the person. It becomes part of them. Without expecting the person to love us back.

So how does one ‘move on’? It’s different with everybody. At those time when everything was fresh, and somebody would even mention the two words ‘move on’, I started the non ending philosophical talks. And then end up crying, being totally confused about my feelings.

But with life, I gave up listening slow music. Started believing that I was also special, had two-three great friends who were actually there for me, started studying, clearing exams, and feeling important. I was still very much into the person but this time I had accepted that I was in love. So I enjoyed my smiles and laughters.

Last year standing in the corridor between our doors, while having a normal conversation with a friend-neighbor, I remember realising I wasn’t the same person I used to be. At that simple moment, I knew love had left me. Trust me, it wasn’t the best feeling. I was empty, normal, I wasn’t the person I believed I was for past six years, and it was sad. I did not love him or hate him or feel anything for him. I couldn’t even feel a thing looking at his picture or hearing his name. Yes, I did try these things!

So, I took a deep breath, wore a gentle smile, looked around, and found so many attractive guys, potential boyfriends and magical crushes. But wait, do I need them? I’m here finding bigger meaning to life.

Now I’m back to being an ordinary girl, who has dreams for herself.