just Human

Task: 40 minutes of flow of thoughts. Again.

Okay the upsetting part is, I thought everything up that I had to write, but did not actually write.
So most of the good thoughts have vanished.
This, now, is what I call, the process of finding them again, which is refined and not raw. And I like raw thoughts.

My mother and I, whenever we cross roads, or walk on the path to a shop, she asks me to avoid all the lids that cover the sewage or water drainage-rs, considering it to be bad to walk over. Or something superstitious. Which I did not care to ask much, after she avoided stating (couldn’t find) the specific reason, and I’ve continued following her guidance.

It was a bad day. Wrong decisions, I didn’t know who to talk to about it.
There are things that I really badly want in my life right now, but I don’t know if they are a necessity. If I do things according to what should be done, I shall be studying i.e. making notes for Information Technology class. The first test series is due soon.

I just want to and need to know right now, like just now.. if some things that seem impossible, which we know is not possible no matter what, which we also know may not be right, but even then, is it fine to get persuaded towards them? Is it fine to hurt ourselves and just go with the flow?
What I really want right now is peace. Why are humans so complicated, human life so messed up? Whether we want something or not, we are never sure. Where we also know, that if we truly would want a thing, then no matter what may come, we ourselves cross all the hurdles (magically) and get it. But first we need to be sure. Which we aren’t.

Today after coming from college, I felt so mixed up and sentimental, just because I saw that women in such poverty and probably mental disturbance. I wish people of this world could live in a better place.
I wish instead of thinking about profits, people could mostly think of raising the standards of living of so many out their, who are somewhat they themselves. Humans. Us.

I don’t know why we forget it. We are a family and how badly we have ruined it. But before blaming anyone else, or asking people to do what seems correct to me, if I look at myself as to what I’m doing for my people, I don’t know. Nothing!

Right now, I’m writing on my macbook, sitting in an air conditioned room on the fourth storey of a complex in a fine colony of a good city. Below the building, and in colony are around 50-60 cars. Some Bmws and a few Audi and many Toyotas and Hondas and Marutis. At the opposite side of the colony are offices in the building, in front of which is a huge bordering or cemented path. On this path, or the roadside of a heavy traffic of trucks and huge vehicles, every morning (except thursdays) vegetable and fruit vendors sit in numbers. Countless numbers. If you are not an Indian, such view is “for the camera” for you.
How much they earn? Again, I don’t know. Is that even an issue? No. At least they are earning, I assume they have a land.
The other day I saw a beggar asking these vendors, to give him something. And each would give him a coin or so. So are these beggars poor? Yes, probably according to the economic definition of poor.

I’m not into a philosophical definition of poverty, but what I saw was the most ugly face of poverty I’d ever seen. There may be (are) worse, but this was my worst experience.

We had an event in the college. As I have said this sentence, I’ll also like to say that we take everything for granted. I think I’m a pessimist, so I don’t think that we can change our habit (of taking things for granted). Just before getting admission I was so eager to be a part of that college, but now, I really don’t care.

Yes, so I was coming back from college and driver was continuously on the accelerator. But I made sure I looked outside, and feel better as my day wasn’t good, else I would have cried if I paid attention to any kind of lyrics on the radio.

Just before the railway station, what I saw, honestly changed nothing. But affected me deep. So much so that I feel ashamed of myself.
I saw a women’s half naked body coming up from a sewage hole, with soap all over her body and her accessories and clothes surrounded around the hole. I thought I should take a picture, just to tell someone/anyone how poor we are. But I couldn’t. I was so ignoring that I did not ask my driver to take a turn. I had enough cash to give to her or provide her with food and water but I did not do it. That women there was not ashamed, to be standing in that hole, unclothed, facing the traffic, rubbing herself with soap. and why should she be ashamed of? Not covering her breasts? Who has made that rule? Why has it come to that, instead when people can not see the way she’s surviving, than just seeing and commenting her on her raw attitude. Is she poor? Yes.

I also know, if some other time again I see it, I most probably will not go out to help her, or anyone in this crowded bad world, where everything is taken for granted, where such stunts can be used to drag me in and possibly rape me or kidnap me.

What is poverty? The poorest fact in this world is that we are divided. Even if a single person sleeps without food even in the most unreachable location of this earth, we are undeveloped.

If you are educated, but have not taken the initiative of teaching at least one person to make him/her literate, you haven’t completed your studies. I really wish something changes your life, whoever is reading this, just so much that we spread education. Shouldn’t education be free or easily available? Have you never felt that money has become such a big need for our survival- to raise the standards of living.

Ironically, if we see, when we are destroying the only known planet to life, the only place for us to live and love and care. So who is the fellow human being to us! Stupid lady, doesn’t have sense how to behave in society and baths like that, how horny men around her must have become, right? What is poverty to you! If you’re rich, there is no poverty in the world! If that actor has a Loiu Vuitton bag and you don’t, you’re poor. Isn’t it!

Take care..

little things..

It was a cloudy sky and her eyes weeped the tears of hope.. She looked ahead from the windshield, rather than looking in the rearview.. She loved the little lights at the dark places.. and the way cool air blew her hair.. she was mesmerised by the way life could change..and how easy he made it for her to fall in love.. she wanted to keep going.. on an endless journey..