All about fear 2

Yes. I’m scared. With every passing minute I’m scared. I’m scared that every wall that I’ve built will fall down. That every dream that I have hidden will come out. I’m scared that I’ll start living again. I’m scared that my heart may again start controlling my mind. I’m scared that I’ll start doing everything that I gave up.
Then a day will come, you will show that you are not this. You never were. It was all I had presumed. It wouldn’t be your fault. It had to be mine. I’ll lose everything. Even when I had somewhere known all my fears, even when I had noticed all the little things that warned me.. I let myself loose. My heart will not be broken, because then, I wont have one.

All about fear..

Some people are so good and amazing that they just by being around make you feel secure. That nothing in this world can touch you.. no misery, no loss, no heartbreak. But these people seem more dangerous .. for we fear.. losing them.. to something.. because we have already lost so much..
Everyday we pray that the person is not fake.. is not laughing at you every second.. at your stupidness for trusting them.. at your innocence..
And one day they break your dreams. They break their promises. Everything shatters. The world laughs at you and you laugh along. What were you thinking!


Early morning, he woke up having a bad dream. The dream wasn’t that bad, only that he did not like it, couldn’t remember most of it and feared it to go true.

Shrugging off the superstition, he moved on to his daily chores when his 8 year old kid said,” Daddy, stomachache!”
For seconds or so he looked at her little eyes and ran to catch her, “come here you little cupcake! Come here..” And she ran around the house screamingly giggling with excuses to not to go to school.
Catching up with her was a task which he somehow managed. But telling her that her mother will be picking her up and he’ll get to meet her the next friday, was never easy.
“I love you Daddy!” she says as she leaves the car to rush back again, “I know I will go with Mommy. Bye Daddy!” He could see her growing up and he seemed old in the mirror.

“Don’t you think you should first talk to her?” She asked.
“No, I think she’s going to adore you.” He said taking her hand in his.
The door of the lift opened and she panicked even more, “What if she doesn’t? What will we do then? Did I forget something? Are you sure she likes puzzles?”

He smiled at her as he gave her a final nod of opening the door to the apartment,”Baby! Relax.. She’s my daughter. And I know she’ll love you. ”
When they entered, they saw her sitting on the table doing her homework. He walked towards her and said, “Honey, someone has come to meet you.”
“Has someone come, or have you brought Aunt Lucy to meet me, Daddy?” She teased her father when the three exchanged surprising looks .

“See what I’ve got for you!” Lucy hurried with the gifts and all fell from her hand except one. She stepped forward with tears in her big blue eyes, handing it over to Naumi, “I’m sorry. I hope you like it.”

While Naumi opened the wrap and her father watched her curiosity, Lucy prayed that she likes it. It was a teddy holding a photo frame. She placed picture of Naumi and Steve in it.
“Look Daddy! You look so handsome! We went here last summer, when you and Mommy were together.”
“Maybe we can go again, and show aunt Lucy what its like?”
“Yeah, maybe we can do that, if she’d like to come.”
“Oh I’d love to.”

When Steve went to pick a call from work which wasn’t one, to see them gel from a distance, Lucy and Naumi sat opening second gift of the eight gifts she got.
“You know I like you, if that is what you want to know. But you cannot cry like this, and you have to promise me if I have a little sister and you ever stay away from my Daddy, my sister will meet you on Fridays and stay with Daddy!”

With nothing to say, she nodded and hugged the kid, and the father was moved.

Be Brief

Task: You’re walking on a path and you stumble upon a letter. You pick it, read it and you’re left emotionally touched.
Twist: Be as brief as you can.

I picked that half-burned page, “Mum, I hope you understand. I cannot kill it. Dad, I wish I had made you proud, I’m sorry. I wish Jeff married me, but he..”

She left everything for that one life that even the biological father didn’t want? Picture-less thoughts swarmed.

Three Songs

‘All for Love’ by Bryan Adams!
Oh my god! I don’t know why I like this song so much.. Is it obvious?

When there’s someone that you know, then just let your feelings show..

I won’t say much about this one. Sometimes, I like starting my day to this song – not always.

The second one in the row, the one I’m listening to right now is ‘Paper Planes’ from Slumdog Millionaire.
The funny part is I like this song because it makes me feel important and strong, like I can do anything in the world- not just sulk.

I know its not the best way to write this post because I’ve already read so many good ones. I’m unable to discover something new, I hope I will during the month. I think there’s something wrong with my body, it’s not in my minds control.

The third song is one given by my friend today itself and I’ve heard it for the first time. It’s amazing!
‘Chhayi Hai Tanhayi’ by Salim Merchant and Amanat Ali from the movie ‘Love Break-up Zindagi’
It’s a love song singing about why some people come in our life when they have to leave.. I don’t understand why did I cry so much to it and then hide away the tears so easily.
I know this post is worse than the one I wrote on first day, but it’s close to me.

If you enjoy it or not, do leave a comment. Take care!

A room with a view

For me, giving a title to a post is overrated. So I’m mostly going to use something like the one I’ve used in this one.
A room with a view!
Writing101: Am I stuck at something from where I can never return? Will I be embarrassed about all the silly posts I’m going to publish during the month? Today I’m going to go with the flow and mix up the first and second task.

She watched as the class dispersed into groups -of twos, threes, six or solitary boys and girls. Though collectively by the noise it looked like they had best exam ever. But when she looked closer at each face, most are just faking the happiness. Some were just happy because the bad part is over and now they can enjoy the regular school again. A quick glance of the crush or multiple crushes, was all what some felt fine with.

He came near and stood besides her,

“what are you doing here?”

She said

“Getting fresh air.”

He smiled and continued,

” Lets go inside.”

She followed him blindly in the class, walking the steps to their seat was dance to her. She moved gracefully sat besides, and they talked about nothing.

A class strength of sixty with no teacher standing in front, and what she felt was complete calmness and happiness and a burst of fresh air. Every soul in the room was just an image travelling in light and all she could feel was her heartbeat.

It wasn’t just a classroom to her, it was the world. A simple eye contact which isn’t one, was what she treasured and the wall that she gazed was pretty even if it was dirty with shoe marks. The cluttering was rhythmic as her hair swayed under the fan and her shiny skin below the above light. Her lips flirted with the pink cheeks and she felt beautiful. For her, it was only them sitting in the class and even after sitting next to him, even after ignoring him completely, she felt safe because her heart was there and it was not broken.

Unlock the mind

It’s actually day 2 and I’m posting for day 1. Probably I should have joined for weekends with regards to all the work that I’ve to do during the week.
‘Unlock the mind’ the email said and the twist is to publish that stream of consciousness.
Yeah, right. As it is I’ve so less followers and after this post I’m may loose some. But its okay.. They must be thinking something and I’ve completely surrendered my half hour daily to them. I couldn’t yesterday because I was procrastinating and I couldn’t even realise when I fell asleep.
Right now, I’m on my way to college. Its 7:30am and I’m late as usual. Im not punctual at all. We have this liking for making a grand entry in the classroom. But sometimes, the grand entry is insulting when the faculty say,” You are too early for the next class” with no expression at all. And everybody is staring you in your face, even that cute boy, you kind of like just because you do.
And finally now, when I’ve reached, I don’t want to stop writing.
I’m standing in front of the class and the national anthem is going on.
Ok, now I’ve to go because they’ve shut the class door.

If you have or have not enjoyed reading this short post, do comment and tell me.
Take care!

A chapter of a life

A letter written by a girl to her best friend who she deeply fell in love with. Fortunately or unfortunately, they never became more than that. Rather, they lost each other. I think this is the most common thing we see nowadays. How simple things become complicated, the unknown reasons of why we fail to accept love and confess at the time, and the wait for the perfect time when the world is just falling apart every second.

One day I will go away so far from your life that you will never be able to find me. . In time may be I won’t even need you. May be I’ll regret it more than you will, but I think I lost you quite back in time. I can’t exactly see when, but when I look back, every moment proves being perfect for each other is not enough. That one thread end for us was always loose.

One day I may not forget the first day we met, but someday you will realise that you could have done something about everything that just seemed to not happen. When you find that there was something that connected us better than anyone who we ever felt for or tried to connect with, I don’t want you to feel lost. You must believe that you’ve found yourself. But don’t look for me, stop looking for answers or framing questions. At that time, when you know that there is something called love, hold on to the person you have then.

Now when I say this, I don’t know how meaningfully or angrily you’ll take this, but it’s time. That day has come. No matter how much it affects our entire life, I’m not ready to give us another chance. Ever. I can’t wait and I promise, I won’t come back.
Best wishes.

She truly did what she wrote. She got over the person and is living a happy life doing things she loves. There may be a bit of him that still stays there deep down hidden which , thankfully, even she may not remember.
Some may say that it wasn’t true love and some may differ. All I know is that people change for good (at least for themselves, for survival).

We do fall in love again if we let go.