Page from Her Diary..

A random shot at writing about lost love..

There’s nothing I can do about it. I am a coward and I know it. My heart skips beats these days so many times. Please don’t go. Understand that I need you and I am helpless, I can’t call for you. Just be there, just looking at you, just you being around everything seems fine. I really really miss you. I know you have your problems, we’ll deal with them together. I’m sorry for being ignorant, don’t do that with me. Come back as you were before. I don’t like it when you look at her, or when I get to know that you talked to her, I am jealous and I accept it. I’m sorry I asked you not to call me, I am sorry I had my tantrums. I miss you, I’m here now, I promise if you fall I’ll catch you or else I’ll fall with you.

I don’t have the courage to say somethings, because I’m not sure what words to choose, and I don’t want to hurt you or me. But that doesnt mean I don’t want you. Every part of me wants every part of you. Please please come back.. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you so much. I want to feel how it feels to hug you. I want to hold you, please forgive me. I’m sorry. Come back. I miss you. I promise I’ll be better person. I don’t know what else to say.. I wish somehow you know..

Dialogue

Early morning, he woke up having a bad dream. The dream wasn’t that bad, only that he did not like it, couldn’t remember most of it and feared it to go true.

Shrugging off the superstition, he moved on to his daily chores when his 8 year old kid said,” Daddy, stomachache!”
For seconds or so he looked at her little eyes and ran to catch her, “come here you little cupcake! Come here..” And she ran around the house screamingly giggling with excuses to not to go to school.
Catching up with her was a task which he somehow managed. But telling her that her mother will be picking her up and he’ll get to meet her the next friday, was never easy.
“I love you Daddy!” she says as she leaves the car to rush back again, “I know I will go with Mommy. Bye Daddy!” He could see her growing up and he seemed old in the mirror.

“Don’t you think you should first talk to her?” She asked.
“No, I think she’s going to adore you.” He said taking her hand in his.
The door of the lift opened and she panicked even more, “What if she doesn’t? What will we do then? Did I forget something? Are you sure she likes puzzles?”

He smiled at her as he gave her a final nod of opening the door to the apartment,”Baby! Relax.. She’s my daughter. And I know she’ll love you. ”
When they entered, they saw her sitting on the table doing her homework. He walked towards her and said, “Honey, someone has come to meet you.”
“Has someone come, or have you brought Aunt Lucy to meet me, Daddy?” She teased her father when the three exchanged surprising looks .

“See what I’ve got for you!” Lucy hurried with the gifts and all fell from her hand except one. She stepped forward with tears in her big blue eyes, handing it over to Naumi, “I’m sorry. I hope you like it.”

While Naumi opened the wrap and her father watched her curiosity, Lucy prayed that she likes it. It was a teddy holding a photo frame. She placed picture of Naumi and Steve in it.
“Look Daddy! You look so handsome! We went here last summer, when you and Mommy were together.”
“Maybe we can go again, and show aunt Lucy what its like?”
“Yeah, maybe we can do that, if she’d like to come.”
“Oh I’d love to.”

When Steve went to pick a call from work which wasn’t one, to see them gel from a distance, Lucy and Naumi sat opening second gift of the eight gifts she got.
“You know I like you, if that is what you want to know. But you cannot cry like this, and you have to promise me if I have a little sister and you ever stay away from my Daddy, my sister will meet you on Fridays and stay with Daddy!”

With nothing to say, she nodded and hugged the kid, and the father was moved.

Be Brief

Task: You’re walking on a path and you stumble upon a letter. You pick it, read it and you’re left emotionally touched.
Twist: Be as brief as you can.

I picked that half-burned page, “Mum, I hope you understand. I cannot kill it. Dad, I wish I had made you proud, I’m sorry. I wish Jeff married me, but he..”

She left everything for that one life that even the biological father didn’t want? Picture-less thoughts swarmed.

Three Songs

‘All for Love’ by Bryan Adams!
Oh my god! I don’t know why I like this song so much.. Is it obvious?

When there’s someone that you know, then just let your feelings show..

I won’t say much about this one. Sometimes, I like starting my day to this song – not always.

The second one in the row, the one I’m listening to right now is ‘Paper Planes’ from Slumdog Millionaire.
The funny part is I like this song because it makes me feel important and strong, like I can do anything in the world- not just sulk.

I know its not the best way to write this post because I’ve already read so many good ones. I’m unable to discover something new, I hope I will during the month. I think there’s something wrong with my body, it’s not in my minds control.

The third song is one given by my friend today itself and I’ve heard it for the first time. It’s amazing!
‘Chhayi Hai Tanhayi’ by Salim Merchant and Amanat Ali from the movie ‘Love Break-up Zindagi’
It’s a love song singing about why some people come in our life when they have to leave.. I don’t understand why did I cry so much to it and then hide away the tears so easily.
I know this post is worse than the one I wrote on first day, but it’s close to me.

If you enjoy it or not, do leave a comment. Take care!

A room with a view

For me, giving a title to a post is overrated. So I’m mostly going to use something like the one I’ve used in this one.
A room with a view!
Writing101: Am I stuck at something from where I can never return? Will I be embarrassed about all the silly posts I’m going to publish during the month? Today I’m going to go with the flow and mix up the first and second task.

She watched as the class dispersed into groups -of twos, threes, six or solitary boys and girls. Though collectively by the noise it looked like they had best exam ever. But when she looked closer at each face, most are just faking the happiness. Some were just happy because the bad part is over and now they can enjoy the regular school again. A quick glance of the crush or multiple crushes, was all what some felt fine with.

He came near and stood besides her,

“what are you doing here?”

She said

“Getting fresh air.”

He smiled and continued,

” Lets go inside.”

She followed him blindly in the class, walking the steps to their seat was dance to her. She moved gracefully sat besides, and they talked about nothing.

A class strength of sixty with no teacher standing in front, and what she felt was complete calmness and happiness and a burst of fresh air. Every soul in the room was just an image travelling in light and all she could feel was her heartbeat.

It wasn’t just a classroom to her, it was the world. A simple eye contact which isn’t one, was what she treasured and the wall that she gazed was pretty even if it was dirty with shoe marks. The cluttering was rhythmic as her hair swayed under the fan and her shiny skin below the above light. Her lips flirted with the pink cheeks and she felt beautiful. For her, it was only them sitting in the class and even after sitting next to him, even after ignoring him completely, she felt safe because her heart was there and it was not broken.

Unlock the mind

It’s actually day 2 and I’m posting for day 1. Probably I should have joined for weekends with regards to all the work that I’ve to do during the week.
‘Unlock the mind’ the email said and the twist is to publish that stream of consciousness.
Yeah, right. As it is I’ve so less followers and after this post I’m may loose some. But its okay.. They must be thinking something and I’ve completely surrendered my half hour daily to them. I couldn’t yesterday because I was procrastinating and I couldn’t even realise when I fell asleep.
Right now, I’m on my way to college. Its 7:30am and I’m late as usual. Im not punctual at all. We have this liking for making a grand entry in the classroom. But sometimes, the grand entry is insulting when the faculty say,” You are too early for the next class” with no expression at all. And everybody is staring you in your face, even that cute boy, you kind of like just because you do.
And finally now, when I’ve reached, I don’t want to stop writing.
I’m standing in front of the class and the national anthem is going on.
Ok, now I’ve to go because they’ve shut the class door.

If you have or have not enjoyed reading this short post, do comment and tell me.
Take care!

Ek Dastaan

The colours that we feel the most and the textures that we can see through and the smiles that we love and the charms that steal our soul..

‘How dare you say such a thing! My father’s faults are half not equal to what your family has done to us. Yet, you complain about him and cry for you own family! How do you face yourself being so rude to us! What is wrong with you?’ He left slamming the door whereas Ahana felt nothing. She did not weep. She did not leave. She sat down staring at the picture that hung on the wall.

Days after loss of their child, their life together was destroyed. Liam did not understand what to say to get things back to normal. He missed his wife and was frightened even by the thought of where things were going.

At night when he would return with food for themselves, Ahana had already eaten and slept, with nothing for him in the kitchen. Day after day, night after night, nothing changed. Only that Liam started smoking, but never stopped loving Ahana, whereas she disputed, not rotten-ed by her manners.

An evening, when the bell rang, Ahana rushed to open the door. She was furious to see Liam’s father. Without inviting him inside, she said, “Your son is not home.” She noticed some papers in his hand.

“Yes, I know. I also know its been a week he is not here and you have done nothing about it, not even called anyone.”

“What do you want? Are these divorce papers!? Give them to me, I’m ready to sign them.” And she snatched the papers from him.

“No dear, they are not. I came here to tell you that you should treasure the people you still have with you. Liam loves you, I dont know how much you value that. It was as painful for us to see your baby..”

“Don’t!” She screamed covering her ears! “Please don’t! You could have saved my child! You killed him! I wanted him to live.” Weeping, wailing, mourning yet hiding the unhide-able “It had to be my decision, my husband’s decision, not yours or my family’s. He was to live. I was to give him life! You disposed his body, I couldn’t even see his face! No enemy would do that to a mother.” Ahana cried with pain and grief.

“I’m sorry. He was not strong enough to be saved, it was no use.”

“How dare you say that! Get out of here! You can say whatever you want to Liam, I don’t want to see you!” She wiped her tears, and locked the door on him only to begin crying again, tearing off the pages he brought.

Next morning, when she woke up on the table, she noticed Bristol hospital’s name on the white page. It wasn’t the hospital she was admitted in. After quickly collecting the bits, she saw Liam’s name as the patient. Hurriedly, she called the hospital, only to find out Liam was in coma. He never left her, but met with an accident the night-week before. Hit and run. He broke three rib cages, and had internal bleeding for hours. They found his body by the lane.
Surprised or shocked, she did not shed a tear. Who was this women? Did she deserve to become a mother?

Sitting by Liam’s side, she felt lost. He never came back, may be it was the only way to keep Ahana near him. And die being loved by her.