Almost

I almost told him how I feel,
the feeling that flickers,
and it felt he suffers same emotion,

Times, he almost came up there but stumbled,
we never confessed
we probably never will

May be thats our ego
May be thats our cowardness- a quality we share– to lose a friend
May be thats our last chance
to get things better,
or ruin for life.

Can we be at two places at the same time?
At that moment, it feels like
go ahead, say it.
We’ll see whatever comes.
But then hope knows the borders,
Who are ‘we’ here?
Why is my we so alone!

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Lost time

It was written a long time ago. Re-read it and thought I should share with you all. Hope you enjoy it. 


image

Love may happen twice
It may not

All that I want is a hug,
A hug that fills me up
And tears me apart at the same time
To which I can cry
And cherish all my life
A hug so bright and tight
A hug to remember

If you know you cant be with the person you love,.

When every song reminds you of him
When his name engulfs your heart
When there’s nothing that can be done to save oneself
When all you want is time to stop when you are together

When he seems the only saviour
Because you can imagine only him
And yet you can’t call out for help
Because something stops you, which is not ego
Because you just have to let go
Because you can’t do anything but drown

No matter how ahead you’ve come,
If you ever pause to look back
Something has stuck you

All I want is a hug for the last time
To secretly wisper all my misery to you
That they have ended
Cause then I’ll hold you
That hug would be the best and worst feeling
Because it would be the moment
I’ll be completely alive, or
maybe ready to die
Because even when I’ll have you in my arms
I don’t know how shall I let you go again

If I could just stop time
Or could end everything
Stay like that forever
With you
How I wish

Again falling in love
..with you..

 

..Reflect

We are the prisoners to the image we want to create for ourself. What we fear the most is person staring us back in the mirror. We fear the person who knows every bit of it, the truths, the lies, the guilts. It knows where we should go. And for the same reason keeps us from following our heart many time.

Write now!

Times when I felt writing was important to me, being the one thing that I could actually do, I would end up writing one chapter of my never-completing book/novel.

I started writing ever since I remember, but never took it seriously. My few friends read everything I wrote, gave their honest opinions, but now I wanted a different audience. Readers who did not know my existence till I posted, most wouldn’t care until I kept posting. I decided to take up a name and not to connect my blog with any other social account.

The day I started blogging, I had just one fine article written and appreciated.

The difficult part was, not receiving a single remark on what I wrote and to still continue writing to void. I learnt to write just because I wanted to, and not to develop a likeable writing style.
I thought, who on WordPress would have time to read. And its okay! Everybody must be so busy writing (read, blogging).

So, I started going through my reader, full of great articles, from people who are so good at it. I realised, reading those people became important to me.
Three days later, I got a follow notification and I thought, “crap, somebody liked it.” Somebody actually read. That feeling was special.

Through this article, I don’t expect anybody to connect with me on how good or miserable blogging may feel, neither do I think there is anyone as ignorant as I am.

All I know, we are going somewhere as far as we keep walking. Now I write everyday, whether I post or not. Everyday, I’ve got something to say, and I write it in any form. Then edit it later. But, I make sure that I don’t lose that thought in mind. That’s the best thing that has happened so far.

My first follower and all of you, the one who is reading this, thank you for your encouragement.
Mine is the most ordinary blog! And you and I are the most important persons, who I’m obliged to write for.

Break Free

Acceptance is the first step to ‘let go’. It isn’t necessary that you’ll find you best friend in the person you called so in childhood. Same as you may not be in love with the person you claim to be as a kid.

As we grow up, we change with our choices, priorities and difficulties and so does everyone.

There’s a point in everyones life where we feel left completely alone, we struggle for everything. But by choice we understand that may be we weren’t supposed to be with people who we assumed our ‘forever’.
The togetherness of this journey ends.

It rips our heart, we feel dead but something in us aches badly to remind us that unfortunately or fortunately, we’re alive.

But then, instead of looking back at the person who left your hand or whose hand you left, when you look ahead of who’s already grabbed you to make sure you don’t shatter away, its surprisingly heartwarming.

Coming at the right time, supporting you by all the ups and downs, weeping or smiling same as you do on the silly texts and talks and things that you connect with that’s not meaningless, at-least not to you.

That person hides your secrets in a safe, and loving you from the bottom of that heart so deep that even you wouldn’t know. Accept that new friendship and love and let go all fear.

Because you deserve the best. Because life is worth it!

One Fourth a Flower

Sometimes you need someone, to understand, to hold on, and most importantly to listen. But at that time you don’t completely know whom to turn to. Because your talks are so much divided, few things are known by this person and few things are known by that.. And what you want is to talk to somebody who knows completely everything about you. And at that point you know, its just you yourself, finding yourself lonely.

Sometimes, you want the presence of somebody who just by being there makes you feel secure, understood and loved.

Sometimes everything is difficult. Even breathing. It is impossible for you to commit yourself to this feeling of attachment and love. You know, that once you did, you won’t be able to overcome it. You can’t afford to lose this person.

Sometimes imagination seems so wonderful, where you can be yourself. Living the life of this alternate person- who you aren’t- starts defining you.

memories

..some memories (people) just can’t be replaced. And not because they are not things. Because you don’t want those wounds (scars) left by them to be healed. You have started to adore the ache, without you knowing they become an integral part of you..without those scars you are empty.. through them you know you are alive..

..Untitled

There’s always this ‘where to start’ thing in my mind. What should be the first statement. I have this guilty feeling of using the one I’ve used in this article.

But I had to write that today’s day was such a waste. I’m in my early twenties and doing almost nothing. Eating, sleeping, breathing doesn’t count.

My exams ended last week and I decided to take few ‘good’ classes for the same exam as I’m sure that I’m going to flunk- for the first time, and have to reappear soon. It’s been three days that I’ve found out this amazing online class, which is perfect to make sure I complete my education. Still I did not enrol. To overcome my habit of procrastinating, I decided to take up three things target to do everyday (read it somewhere so thought I shall give it a shot) so that I don’t delay the registration anymore.

First and top of the list was to get a CD/DVD player, which was very urgently required to show my grandfather a series of mythological story that he’s been demanding since before my papers.

Second, my actual priority, was secretly top of the list in my mind: to get enrolled in the class! How much time could it take! I mean, instead of writing this I can still check the procedure and get registered. But no, I’ve to first tell somebody what I did, instead of doing it right. No wonder why I will flunk. As I’m growing older, I’m losing my interest in doing things right and liking to just be.

The third and forever to be last thing on the lists of my life was sorting the junk that I have piled up in a small cupboard that is barely two feet tall. But sorting is something that every person on this planet hates to begin, I’m sure. Why? That’s a different story.

Do I need to mention if I did a single task? Or should I cut it and tell what I did instead? Latter is better (Nope, it doesn’t rhyme).

I wasted my time in watching movies. My silly heart wants to write invested because I enjoyed, but investment is something that pays you back in future. Period.

Television gets the best of me. My school Principal once asked me if I wanted to be an actor. Why she ever asked me so? That’s not the point. The point is, I become someone else when I’m on television. Movies, precisely. The satisfaction I get when I complete watching one movie is priceless. All day watching movies.

Started with ‘the da Vinci code’, and was so jealous of the protagonists for their talents of cracking codes and the number of places they’d traveled. Second flick was ‘Julie and Julia’. I love Amy Adams after watching only two of her movies, this and Enchanted. Yes, I yet haven’t watched American Hustle, neither Man of Steel. It’s already very sad. Let me not go deeper into this. The third movie that I saw was, ‘World War Z’, I understand why Angelina was not casted. Then it was the great Judie Foster’s ‘Flightplan’, which kind of depressed me.

I did not learn anything, neither did I earn anything unlike the actors in movie and the channel that played it. I was only entertained, as if I had reasons to be bored. It’s a pity if I still don’t learn from my mistakes.

Still I have set two movies to record, ‘The Lucky One’ and ‘Man on a Ledge’, and the Brazil versus Mexico match.